The Battle with Acceptance
My life motto is, “I Wanna Be Me When I Grow Up”. I’m all about living my truth and doing what I need to do to show up for myself 100%. I want to create a world where others can do exactly that as well. I Wanna Be Me When I Grow Up and I Want You to Be You When You Grow Up. The motto goes further.
However, these last few weeks I’ve been in a battle against accepting what I need versus what I want. My body is fatigued. I mean seriously fatigued. I sleep 8- 10 hours most nights and still need a long nap most days. I can do about 4 hours of work per day before my brain is so tired that continuing to look at a screen is counterproductive.
I know this is a season - and it’s gratefully a season where the end is in sight. However, that doesn’t make acceptance any easier.
Accepting our limitations - even temporary ones - is challenging. Gayle shared something she’s picked up about acceptance. That is that acceptance is not agreement. That has helped me a lot lately. I don’t agree with the fact that my body is at this point but it is at this point and I need to care for my body so that it can get past this point.
Acceptance is also not permanent. Life is always changing. I can accept this now while I’m finishing active treatment. But in six months, assuming I am cancer free, I don’t have to accept the limitation of the exhaustion of treatment. There will be new things I have to accept about how my body and mind are doing - but it won’t be the same as it is now.
Acceptance, at the end of the day, is battling who our mind, body, and soul are telling us who we are right now. Acceptance is fighting with being you. So, to be me when I grow up, I also have to accept when I have some limits that I don’t want to have and look for the ways to strengthen and grow within those limitations.
What are you struggling to accept right now? How do you handle accepting when you’re not where you want to be?
Some Things You Might Find Interesting
What I Published: I finally hit publish on something!! It ended up being a very long piece about a three step decision-making framework for notes and tasks. If you struggle to keep up with email, it’s worth a read and worth thinking about. Also, my inbox is still a little out of control so just know, I’m in no way perfect.
Keep Up With My Cancer Journey: If you’re reading this on Monday when it’s first released, I’m starting week 4 of 5 of external radiation. If you’d like to follow along in more detail on this journey, you can request access to my Cancer Journey website at https://www.mylifeline.org/invitation/Monroe4702670/c4d9a0945939697870a9267ec2cd951230b25b0e9f023ca466233659967b5e46
Lift: Gayle and I are big fans of heist movies. Lift released in January on Netflix and we watched it earlier this month. I highly recommend.
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"Acceptance is not agreement". That is profound and powerful. I understand how it can be difficult especially when humans have the tendency to want to be in control. In fact, we are all taught to do that. Life lessons like be prepared, be proactive, etc.
But I think being in total control is an illusion. Its actually harder to embrace change.
One of my fav Bruce Lee's quotes "Be like water making its way through cracks. Do not be assertive, but adjust to the object, and you shall find a way around or through it. If nothing within you stays rigid, outward things will disclose themselves.".
Still learning to embrace that quote.
I feel for you Kara! <3
My struggles cant be compared with yours, but I have released that acceptance gos a long way in having a happy and fulfilling life. Even with the limitations our illnesses causes us.
Sending a big powerboost, and a big warm hug!