#32 - Use a GATE to set your boundaries
Welcome to our new subscribers - I’m so happy you’ve joined our little community. You’re here at an exciting time because I’ve updated a few sections of the newsletter to be (hopefully) more interesting and relevant.
Photo of the Week
Sunrise, Thursday, September 15
The days are getting shorter. I feel it the most when Kona and I take our morning walk. Three mornings this week the weather app said there was a fog advisory. This was the closest we came to ever experiencing fog this week - a little mist hanging over the golf course in the distance.
Use a GATE to set your boundaries
Kona has made me think a lot about boundaries this week - and it led to a new acronym/system for thinking about boundaries - GATE.
When I watered the plants each evening (we winterized the patio this week so that's all past tense for this year now), I let Kona roam around using the 20 foot leash which was connected to the fence. This worked great all summer until one day last week when a combination of exposure to the sun and the elements - and seeing our neighbor dog Jack (a Yorkie who doesn't give Kona the time of day) - caused Kona to break that leash in two. Happily Jack's only injuries in the entire event were emotional.
So, I finally caved and bought one of those metal tie outs leashes. I've always thought it was overkill for my little 25-ish pound doodle, but apparently Kona needs stronger boundaries than a canvas leash exposed to the elements can give him.
The old leash was 20 feet so I assumed adding 10 feet would give him enough wiggle room he could get around to where he needed to - even with it now staked to the ground - so I ordered a 30 foot line. Even though I was careful to throw the ball far less than even 20 feet - he has still hit the end of this new line at top speed a few more times than either of us would like this week.
As Kona is adjusting to his new boundaries I realize how clearly defined they are to me - but to him, learning is a little slower and takes a little more trial and error. In other words - finding the boundaries is hard.
The same is true when we're trying to set boundaries for our own work and life. Our lines are far less clear than a 30 foot steel cable. As I was trying to think of how we might identify those boundaries more readily the acronym GATE emerged.
Goals - Is what you're being asked to do aligned with your values-based goals? If not, then it should be outside of your boundaries and you should say no if at all possible.
Attention - Is this something you'd normally give your attention to if you weren't being asked to/required to? If not, how can you move it/keep it outside of your boundaries?
Time - Does this occur at a time that aligns with your values for how you spend your time?
Energy - Does the thought of doing something or does actually doing the thing increase your energy? If not, how can you move it outside of your boundaries?
I'd love your thoughts on this acronym? Does it resonate with you as a way to assess boundaries? If so, what is most clear? If not, what isn't clear or what don't you like?
Where’s Kara?
Long time readers - this is a new section I’m adding so that hopefully we can connect more in real life and online.
A quick summary of where I’m going to be hanging out online and In Real Life (IRL) over the next few weeks. Join me, and if I’m visiting near you, hit reply and let’s meet up!
IRL
As you read this, I’m in Nashville, TN doing a keynote for a conference.
I’m in Orlando, Florida before a cruise at the end of September.
In mid-October, I’m in Denver, Colorado
In mid-November, I’m in northern Minnesota for a couple of days.
Around the Virtual World
My Facts of Life Book Course and Community
You will often find me hanging out in the course and community for my course “Facts of Life Book”. Do you need to organize your most important stuff for life’s most important moments? If so, then the Facts of Life Book course is just for you. With loads of templates, tools, and guides I’ll help you get your most important information organized. Newsletter readers - get in now for the low cost of only $25 for life! The Community is open now for all paying members. The Course officially launches January 1, 2023.
Join My Quarterly Retreat
I’ve written about my last two quarterly reviews on my business blog (here and here). I wanted to start making this a little more formal process - and you can join me. Register at lu.ma/Q4Retreat to reserve a spot for free for the session on Tuesday, October 4, 2022 from 11 - 4 eastern. Come in for a few minutes or join me for the whole session in this virtual coworking environment. Everyone who registers will get a free copy of my new Quarterly Planning Guide. Have questions - just hit reply and ask!
R.J. Nestor’s AP Productivity Course
I’m once again joining my friend R.J. Nestor as a mentor in his exceptional course AP Productivity. This is an eight week cohort based course designed to help you build systems and tools to be more productive - in the things that matter to you! R.J.’s course was such a game changer for me and for how I live my life and do my work. The next cohort starts October 6. Come and join us.
Tools, Tips, & Tricks
Check your physical mail online
A few years ago, my friend Stacy turned me on to the U.S. Postal Service’s Informed Delivery service. This FREE service of the USPS, sends you an email each day with a scan of your physical mail and links to the tracking information for any packages.
It doesn’t scan magazines or typical junk mail like those Val Pak coupon packets but most of your normal mail will get scanned like you see in the image above.
I particularly love it when I’m on the road because I still get it each day when my mail is held so I know what to look for first when I am going through my held mail.
Samsung and Microsoft Users Need Phone Link
As I’ve been typing this week’s newsletter, Gayle has been texting me about flights to Hawaii. Rather than having to switch back and forth between phone and computer throughout this conversation, I’ve been able to use the Microsoft Phone Link which lets me “mirror” my Samsung phone on my computer. The app is free and surprisingly easy to set up. The next time I respond to you with an email length text message, you can bet that I was typing from my computer keyboard!
What I Published This Week
Another great week of publishing with all of my systems working at full throttle - and some theme days are starting to emerge which is awesome. I’m even a bit “ahead” with things already scheduled for release the next couple of weeks since I’m traveling so much at the end of September.
Monday - Monday has become my Facts of Life series/course day - check out all the updates at https://www.factsoflifebook.com. Here was this week’s article on Medium - Education and Training Records.
Tuesday - I took my first stab at Three Tune Tuesday on Hive. This was so much fun to write. I explored “A Day in My Life” in music form.
Wednesday - I’m recapping some more big moments from my recent trip to Washington D.C. in the next installment of a Wednesday Walk - The National Mall, Part I
Thursday - Kona checked in on Hive - I love writing these posts. They feel a little creative and it’s just fun to try to look at the world through “someone” else’s perspective. I did realize that I need to read them outloud because this is not the exact way I voice him. I’ll try to be more true to his voice in the future ;-)
Friday - My goals for the end of the year. I did a little “pre-thinking” about my Q4 Retreat goals for this post. I do think most of this stuff will make it on there.
Saturday - Periodic Planning Principles - or Why the Weekly Review Should Die. There is some ground work here for rebuilding my Obsidian Vault…speaking of…
Sunday - I’m Rebuilding my Obsidian Vault from the Ground Up. You can read why on Medium or watch on YouTube. I’m looking forward to doing this work - and bringing folks along for the ride as I do.
I also published a “Sublime Sunday” post on Hive if you want to see a few details about my current trip to Nashville.
Facts of Life Book Series
As I build towards the official launch of the Facts of Life Book Course and Community on January 1, I’m continuing to publish articles about some of the many different things you might include in a Facts of Life Book. While I’m continuing to publish them on on Medium and Hive you can now see all of them on the Facts of Life Book website.
This Week’s Featured Book Note
Long time readers - this is the other change to the newsletter. Rather than just listing what I’m reading, I am giving you a little more of a peak inside how I use my books to improve my life.
Each week, I’m featuring one book note (might be a book in process - or a book I’ve recently completed). Click the image below (or click here) to view this week’s note as a PDF file.
I’m re-reading Dan Charnas’s book- Everything in Its Place: The Power of Mise-En-Place to Organize Your Life, Work, and Mind (which you will also find by the title Work Clean in some places). I loved this book when I read it the first time, but I didn’t really do a lot with it. I’ve had a lot of intriguing insights in this read through. This is not the complete book, but honestly the best parts of the book from my recollection of my first read area already covered here so check it out!
Diversion
Open up a new web browser. Type www.google.com
In the search page window, type dvd screensaver it the search box and press enter.
Watch the google logo (it takes a moment or two for it to start)
Ways You Can Support Me
Join the Facts of Life Book Course and Community
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