38 - Reframe the Messy Middle to Move Forward
I am doing a new challenge in November - podcasting EVERY day as a part of something called NaPodPoMo. Check out What I Published for information on how to listen and subscribe.
Photo of the Week
Happy Halloween! Kona takes his job as the Chief of Peace and Wellness (Chief PaW) of Monarch Strategies LLC very seriously. He entertains and he makes sure we get to the Farmer’s Market for all natural dog treats and some steps. This past Saturday he also brought people lots of joy while sporting his Pluto Halloween costume.
Reframe the Messy Middle to Move Forward
I met my friend for Hillary for coffee this week. (Hi Hil!) Hillary and I met through an online course and then became friends via Creative Work Hour.
Our conversations are always wide ranging and far reaching. This week we covered a load of topics from belly dancing to hypnotherapy (I told you they were wide ranging!) While I'd love to share one of those with you, the one that made Hillary say, "I think you need to write about this" was our conversation on the middle of projects - or as I like to call it and it has even become known in a book title - The Messy Middle.
If you're not familiar with the idea of "the messy middle" I first encountered the concept and I think the phrase on the blog Young House Love.
I know the phrase has also caught on because Scott Belsky published a book by that name in 2018 - "The Messy Middle: Finding your way through the hardest and most crucial part of any bold venture."
I think of the messy middle of any endeavor as that part where you're too far in to give up but you're not far enough in to see the end. It is, in my experience, where far, far too many projects do die because - as the Young House Love team says - the middle makes no sense. The middle is where, as Hillary was finding, where the thing you started to do can take on a life of its own and spawn off into many, mnay other directions.
I am in the messy middle of Kona's training to become a therapy dog. We've invested time and money into the endeavor. He has made enormous strides in all of his basic skills like sit, down, and wait. However, we suffer from separation anxiety (yes - we!) and he is still a jumping machine. We're too far in to NOT do something with all of his learning and development but the path to actually earn our therapy registration status still feels impossible to overcome. The end is nowhere in sight.
Another example is that I am in the messy middle of my Facts of Life Book Course and Community building. Right now, I've got two or three different strategies I could use to get the course construction completed and launch the course by January 1. I'm struggling with indecision of which one would be "the best" to use.
And a third example is my business website - https://www.monarchstrategiesllc.com. It's built and it serves a function but I have an enormous list of other ideas I could do with it and don't know where to start. As I start down a path of one idea, three more pop up. This specific type of messy middle is also what Hillary was experiencing in some projects she was working on. Project A spawned ideas B, C, and D - all of which seemed like really important things that might be more important than Project A.
So, when you find yourself in the messy middle, how do you deal with it? There is no one right way which in and of itself is a strategy. Realize there is no "right" path - there is just the best path with the resources and skills you have available to you in the moment. Reframing a problem so that you look for the best option rather than the right option is often a helpful strategy for moving forward. Here are a few others that I use regularly to help me move through the messy middle or the part when a project is started but feels too daunting to finish.
Don't Take On New Projects
In R.J. Nestor's AP Productivity course we often talk about putting a constraint on your different lists - whether that be projects, inbox, your to-read list, etc. For example, to make progress with my web site, it may be beneficial to only allow myself to work on one very specific update at a time and keep everything else on a "backburner" or "next options" list. Having two or three ideas going at the same time just leads to distraction in an area where I'm already prone to distraction and looking for distracting shiny objects.
Give Yourself A Deadline - And Make It One You're Accountable To
This is the strategy I've used with The Facts of Life Book Course and Community. I have a very public deadline of January 1, 2023 and those of you who have already bought the course (THANK YOU!!) are my accountability. I have to pick a strategy for building out all the modules and then build them. And, I have to put a quality course up by the deadline. Will it be perfect? Of course not. But, that's true with a Facts of Life Book. It's never perfect nor is it ever actually done. We live life, we learn things, and circumstances change. We must keep our Facts of Life Book updated. The course is about building the foundation and process for doing that and the providing ongoing accountability for the updating. That is a bit of a sub strategy - to recognize that you will get to a point of maintenance rather than a point of completion.
Build Habits, Routines and Rituals
Kona and I have a morning walk every day which is our training walk. It is when we work on all of his skills. The skills we do in those morning walks are the reliable skills he does every single day and nearly every single time I cue him to choose those behaviors. However, jumping was something I was allowing so there has to be a new habit on my part - the second he jumps say No and ignore him. And after just 4 days of doing it consistently, I'm already seeing progress. He still wants to jump and be enthusiastic and excited but he's learning that it's not appropriate behavior when it's time to be serious and work.
Involve Others/Follow Someone Else's Path
I am announcing something new and exciting in the “What I Published This Week” and it has and will involve a lot of other people as I continue starting. Involving others is a good idea when my mind is a muddled mess of "coulds" and "what ifs". One of my favorite strategies for starting something that I've been putting off for a long, long time - essentially making the messy middle feel like a black hole of no progress - is to simply follow what someone else has done. How did Hillary start her YouTube channel? How did Andy start a daily publishing practice? How does Jen recommend I start a podcast? Someone else already walked down this path. I can take my own path at some point but I can start out from exactly the same place they did and then diverge after I’ve build confidence and some skills and understanding.
Change Your Environment
The final strategy I'll cover today is to change your environment. This strategy works well when you've simply lost interest in a project and don't want to pick it back up again. Try changing your environment. Play different music, use different tools, focus on a different area, go to a new location, try a new workout, make a new recipe, try a new restaurant. If you're stuck change something you feel like you have control over. This can often give you a sense of control or renewed sense of agency over the area where you're stuck - allowing you to get unstuck.
Where have you gotten caught up in the messy middle of a project?
I'd love to know if you experience the messy middle? Are you experiencing it now? If so, where? Did one of these help you get unstuck? If not, how could you get unstuck? Hit reply and share your messy middle story with me and/or share your favorite strategy for getting unstuck when you're in the messy middle. How do you reframe that part of any project?
Another one I didn't mention here is to work with a coach. My coach has helped me get unstuck from the messy middle more times than I can count. Want to set up a free coaching consultation with me? Visit https://calendly.com/monarchstrategiesllc.
Where’s Kara?
A quick summary of where I’m going to be hanging out online and IRL over the next few weeks. Join me, and if I’m visiting near you, hit reply and let’s meet up!
In Real Life (IRL)
Later in November I’ll be in Northern Minnesota for a couple of days
At the very end of November, I’ll be in Baltimore, MD for a couple of days
Around the Virtual World
Two Webinars: I am on two webinars in the coming week. Feel free to drop in if you’re interested in learning about some of my professional endeavors and opinions.
Creative Work Hour - Every single day of the week, at 10 a.m. eastern, a group gathers online in Zoom to do a quick check in, a brief meditation, work for about 50 minutes on whatever they want to do, and then check out with one another for 5 minutes. Creative Work Hour is one of my favorite places to hang out online and I’ve been there every single day that I could be there since about March of 2022. Come as often or as little as you need to get projects done. To register for the sessions (they are free but you have to sign up to get the zoom link) and to learn more, visit https://lu.ma/CreativeWork.
Join My Course and Community - You will often find me hanging out in the course and community for my course “Facts of Life Book”. Do you need to organize your most important stuff for life’s most important moments? If so, then the Facts of Life Book course is just for you. With loads of templates, tools, and guides I’ll help you get your most important information organized. Newsletter readers - get in now for the low cost of only $25 for life!
Quarterly Retreat - I’ll be announcing plans for my annual/Q1-2023 Retreat shortly. Be sure to share my newsletter with friends if you think they might want to join in on that planning and preparation for an amazing 2023.
AP Productivity - I’m once again joining my friend R.J. Nestor as a mentor in his exceptional course AP Productivity. We started a Cohort in October, but you can join in on the next offering by visiting his AP Productivity page and watching this space. I’ll always let you know when a new offering is about to begin.
Tools, Tips, & Tricks
Emojis Anywhere - Not Just Your Phone and Socials
I was chatting with someone about how I inserted emojis in the About section of LinkedIn as its editor doesn’t include an Emoji toolbar. (see photo)
The good news is that it is super easy - on any Windows machine, just click the Windows key and a period at the same time (Win + .) and an emoji pop up will open up.
If you’re in Google Chrome, there is also a right click menu option that will open an emoji inserter module for you.
What’s that Charge
This one was featured in one of my favorite newsletters - Recommendo - this weekend. Ever had a charge on your credit or debit card that you don’t recognize and that looks something like: HxPayments.com? If so, then you can try to use What’s That Charge to find out what company, or type of company, made the charge.
What I Published This Week
I worked on a couple of behind the scenes projects and got set up for the podcast (more on that below) so I didn’t publish as much this week. Lots to come in coming weeks as a result.
I’m getting super interested in Artificial Intelligence and in the way that it may contribute to writing and education. Here is an initial experiment in artificial intelligence.
I struggled with some of the tech of getting the podcast set up. I will share a little bit of the behind the scenes of this experiment as I do it over the next month. Here is the first installment of that.
I Wanna Be Me When I Grow Up is also a Podcast!
As I mentioned in the introduction, I’ve launched a podcast. I decided to do this as a part of a challenge called NaPodPoMo - or National Podcast Posting Month. My goal is to release 30 episodes (roughly one every day) by the end of November. The trailer is live now and hopefully by the time you read this, you’ll be able to subscribe to the podcast simply by searching for I Wanna Be Me When I Grow Up on your favorite podcast app. If it doesn’t come up for some reason, you can also listen live here: https://anchor.fm/iwannabeme. The first official episode drops on November 1! Please like, subscribe, and share with others you think might enjoy the podcast.
Facts of Life Book Series
As I build towards the official launch of the Facts of Life Book Course and Community on January 1, I’m continuing to publish articles about some of the many different things you might include in a Facts of Life Book. While I’m continuing to publish them on on Medium and Hive you can now see all of them on the Facts of Life Book website.
My Digital “Garden”
As a part of the Obsidian Vault Rebuild Series that I wrote on Medium and YouTube, I began using Obsidian Publish. This add on tool for Obsidian allows you to easily publish your “in progress” notes to the web. If you want to see what I’m thinking about, this is a great place to see inside my head. It’s always available at https://publish.obsidian.md/iwannabeme
This Week’s Featured Book Note
Each week, I’m featuring one book note from a book I’m currently reading. Click the image to view this week’s note as a PDF file.
Diversion
Dressing Kona up each year for Halloween still doesn’t make me love this holiday but it has re-energized me to respect it. Here are some more adorable animals in costumes.
Ways You Can Support Me
Join the Facts of Life Book Course and Community
I officially launch the course - The Facts of Life Book - on January 1, 2023. Join now for just $25 and get the lowest price ever and some fun bonuses along the way as we get ready to get all of our most important information organized in 2023.
Subscribe to and Share My Newsletter
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Buy Me A Coffee
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Subscribe to Medium
I publish much of my writing on Medium. To read all of the content there, you need to have a subscription which gives you access to the entire library of Medium content. It’s a great place where I start nearly every day. If you want to subscribe, consider doing so through my referral link: https://iwannabemewhenigrowup.medium.com/membership
Subscribe to Readwise
Readwise is an incredible service that takes all of the highlights you take on Kindle, on various web sites, and in so many other places and stores and organizes them for you. It generates a daily (or more often/less often as you prefer) set of highlights for you to review so that you can better remember what you read. Readwise also syncs with all kinds of apps including Evernote, Notion, Obsidian, Roam Research, Log Seq and more. If you’d like an extended 60 day trial, use my link https://readwise.io/kara
Affiliate Links
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