50 - Rebellions
Happy 50th issue! I decided to forgo the ask me anything format for this issue - although if you have any questions you want to ask just hit reply! I love marking milestones with my newsletter so I’ll keep considering a way to celebrate each 5 and 10.
Photo of the Week
This week we had our most significant snowfall of 2023 thus far. The only good thing I can say about it is I can now look out my home office window at the weather while I work.
I went down into the deep dark rabbit hole of family history research this week. It yielded many things but probably the most exciting is this photo of my maternal great grandmother. Her name is Sarah and, interesting fact, both sets of my maternal great grandparents were a couple named Sarah and William. This particular Sarah bears a striking resemblance to my mother and while the provenance of this photo isn’t something I know directly, I can believe she is a relative.
Yesterday (Sunday the 29th) was a very busy day. We went to church at West River Friends to hear our friend Eldon give the sermon. Eldon is our family pastor having been with us from weddings to funerals. He gave a delightful sermon about what you’re locked to - both good and bad - illustrated by a sock lock (what happens to be in that little envelope). Dad and I stopped at the cemetery on the way home - and in the process spied the building progress being made on our old farmhouse which was badly damaged by fire a few weeks ago. Susie and I went to see a play at Richmond Civic Theatre - Miss Holmes - which is a feministic retelling of the Sherlock Holmes story. And then we had dinner with Ashley, Clifton, and Gene which is always tons of fun.
Rebellions
Through the bulk of January I’ve been feeling disengaged and disinterested. I’ve come to call these bits of time rebellions based on Gretchen Rubin’s term “Obliger Rebellion”.
In Rubin’s Four Tendencies Framework I am firmly seated in the Obliger camp. I’ll do something if you ask me to but I won’t do something if I ask me to. However, my full tendency is an Obliger who tips to Rebel. Rebels do something because they identify with the thing but they won’t do it because they want to or because someone told them to. And, lately, my rebel side has been in full force.
I’ve had periods of Obliger Rebellion for years - although it wasn’t until Rubin coined this phrase that I could describe it. I’d just get tired of doing what everyone else expected of me and I’d therefore stop doing pretty much anything anyone wanted. But normally these periods lasted a few hours or maybe a day. At that short of a period of time, no one else really suffered. The rebellion just made me procrastinate and then have to work faster to make someone else’s deadline.
But this has been a month long struggle with doing anything - things I want to do or things others ask me to do. Playing around with identities (I’m a person who gets up with her alarm, I’m a person who cleans up after herself, etc.) are helping me to calm the Rebel and get some things done again but it’s a struggle.
In a lot of ways time is a social construct but I am hoping that flipping the calendar from January to February helps a bit as I try to regain some sense of navigational flow in 2023.
Struggling with something right now? Try on an identity you want to take for size. See if that helps you out.
Where’s Kara?
A quick summary of where I’m going to be hanging out online and IRL over the next few weeks. Join me, and if I’m visiting near you, hit reply and let’s meet up!
In Real Life (IRL)
Finally - a real update - and it’s big! I’m going to be in Chicago the week of Valentine’s Day for a conference! Excited to be with friends and colleagues there. And in early August - a Northern European Cruise! It has been bizarre not having anything booked for so long. Life feels a little more balanced now.
Around the Virtual World
Quarterly Retreat - It’s still a great time to prepare for an awesome 2023 by signing up for the Quarterly Retreat All Access Pass or the Quarterly Retreat Workshop. Visit https://karamonroe.podia.com and download the workbook for free and check out all of the offerings.
Join My Course and Community - You will often find me hanging out in the course and community for my course “Facts of Life Book” that launched on January 1! Do you need to organize your most important stuff for life’s most important moments? If so, then the Facts of Life Book course is just for you. With loads of templates, tools, and guides I’ll help you get your most important information organized. Newsletter readers - get in now for the low cost of only $25 for life! This price will be going up on February 1 so act fast to get in on the lowest price ever and be a founding member giving you access to every update, every live cohort, and every new feature I ever launch of this course.
Creative Work Hour - Every single day of the week, at 10 a.m. eastern, a group gathers online in Zoom to do a quick check in, a brief meditation, work for about 50 minutes on whatever they want to do, and then check out with one another for 5 minutes. Creative Work Hour is one of my favorite places to hang out online and I’ve been there every single day that I could be there since about March of 2022. Come as often or as little as you need to get projects done. To register for the sessions (they are free but you have to sign up to get the zoom link) and to learn more, visit https://lu.ma/CreativeWork.
AP Productivity - I’m once again joining my friend R.J. Nestor as a mentor in his exceptional course AP Productivity. The next cohort starts January 13.
Tools, Tips, & Tricks
Breath Work Infographic
I’ve found breathwork to be more effective for me than meditation when it comes to calming my nervous system. I’ve shared box breathing with you (inhale for 4, hold for 4, exhale for 4, hold for 4 and repeat) before. It is the easiest of the breathwork practices and my regular go to. This week, I came across this breathwork infographic that summarizes several breathwork practices - including a couple of others that I use regularly. My faves are 4-4-8 and Cadence breathing. If you’re feeling overwhelmed or even trying to calm your mind in order to go to sleep you might give these a try.
Sock Locks
In honor to my friend Eldon’s sermon yesterday AND my dad’s love of the sock lock, I do have to share these nifty little devices. Want to help kids learn to sort laundry? Buy each person in the family a different color sock lock. Dad has used these for as long as I can remember - and maybe even longer than I’ve been alive. They do a good job of keeping his socks together in the laundry. He has avoided the dreaded loss of sock to the dryer monster - or worse yet between the dryer and the drawer.
What I Published This Week
Rules work better for me than habits - https://medium.com/@iwannabemewhenigrowup/rules-work-better-for-me-than-habits-they-might-for-you-too-6ba6fc653dfb
Putting Ink Back in my pen - https://ecency.com/writing/@iwannabeme/putting-ink-back-in-my
Feathered Friends - https://ecency.com/hive-106444/@iwannabeme/re-wrestlingdesires-2023126t133013860z
My Digital “Garden”
As a part of the Obsidian Vault Rebuild Series that I wrote on Medium and YouTube, I began using Obsidian Publish. This add on tool for Obsidian allows you to easily publish your “in progress” notes to the web. If you want to see what I’m thinking about, this is a great place to see inside my head. It’s always available at https://publish.obsidian.md/iwannabeme
This Week’s Featured Book Note
Each week, I’m featuring something about a book I’m reading or recently finished reading.
I’m working on something called Book On A Page as part of a Visual Thinking Workshop I’m taking. The book we’re reading is Annie Murphy Paul’s book “The Extended Mind.” These are two of my mini summary images from two sections late in the book.
We all might have something called a “hive switch” that moves us from our 90% individualistic ape like behaviors to our 10% hive mind bee like behaviors. We can trigger this more easily (say if we need to work on a group project with people) by moving in sync with one another (think a walk at the same pace or Tai Chi).
Research shows there are four keys to inducing “groupiness” - a sense of passion towards shared goals and activities. To be most effective these need to be done in person. 1) Share feelings with one another, 2) Experience ritual together, 3) Learn together, 4) Train together. As I consider these I realize so many things wrong with modern workplaces in terms of developing communal spirit.
I also finished Book Lovers this week - the first book for my very first book club. A little “steamy” but overall a delightful read! Highly recommend.
Diversion
At about 7 minutes, this is longer than most diversions I give you but it felt right as a way to kick start this cold drizzly week. It’s also a nice way to pay tribute to NCIS: Los Angeles which also starts LL Cool J and which will go off the air at the end of this season.
The Anna Kendrick/John Krasinski battle episode isn’t my favorite but it’s up in my top 5 of LL’s Lip Sync Battle. I am forever enamored with that man who we’ve had the privilege of meeting twice on three different set visits to see tapings of NCIS: Los Angeles. But, it’s worth watching if you want to start the week with a smile.
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