65 - Ask more specific questions to get better answers
Ask more specific questions to get better answers
TL; DR:
Want to have a better conversation? Ask more specific questions. And then really listen to what is said.
Instead of “What can I do to help?” try “What night could I bring dinner this week to take a load off? or “What groceries can I pick up for you to help?”
One of the many life lessons my dear friend Diana taught me is that I have the right to ask any questions I want and the person I’m asking has the right to tell me it’s none of my business. Questions are how we learn and so I try to ask a lot of them.
Questions - better ones - could be the key for you to unlock a better life. Or, at least so says Marc Champagne, author of Personal Socrates. (Confession: it’s on my started and not yet finished pile.). He opens the book with this line.
In my darkest days, I turned to journaling, and the detail with which I interrogated myself led to a critical realization and the foundation for this book: at any point, we are one question away from a different life.
When we ask generic questions, people often don’t know how to answer - or perhaps more importantly - they aren’t sure how serious they are. I’ve learned to ask when someone is experiencing a trauma, “What could I bring for dinner or for you to stick in the freezer for a future meal?” or “What errands can I run for you this week?”
This is true in the world of work as well. In my business, I do and teach something called Creative Problem Solving (CPS). A typical CPS session begins with asking a series of “Fact Finding” questions. While these questions themselves are somewhat generic, the skilled facilitator is always listening for the meaning behind the meaning so that we can dive in with a simple “Tell me more” or with a “What do you mean by x?” or “What leads you to believe y?” The answers you’re seeking are usually in the subtleties and nuance. Not in the mundane things we say to each other out of politeness day in and day out.
So, where do you need to ask better questions of yourself and of others?
Photos of the Week
It was a VERY busy week around here. Several work projects were in full swing which meant several meetings and then two big events took place. First, on Thursday night, Medical Mutts, a local organization that rescues shelter dogs and trains them to be service dogs, had their annual Designers and Dogs purse bingo fundraiser. I got to try my hand at constructing a balloon tower which went remarkably well. Sadly, when the event was over I also had to destroy it so we could keep the pieces and parts of the tower.
Then, on Saturday my friends Hillary and Mark got married and they were kind enough to allow me to serve as their officiant. It was a beautiful ceremony filled with personal touches and amazing love.
Kona was uncomfortable with all of this time away from his human so that final pic is him on Sunday afternoon chilling on the couch while Gayle and I binge watched the entire season of The Diplomat on Netflix (5 stars!).
Where’s Kara?
IN THE REAL WORLD
A quick summary of where I’m going to be hanging out online and IRL over the next few weeks. Join me, and if I’m visiting near you, hit reply and let’s meet up!
June or July - I am (still) waiting on all the signatures but I may get to North Carolina later in the summer
July/August - A Northern European Cruise!
September- College Park, MD for a conference with one of my clients.
November - A yet undisclosed location for a conference with one of my clients.
AROUND THE VIRTUAL WORLD
LAST CHANCE TO JOIN AT THE LOWEST PRICE EVER FOR A LIVE COHORT - The Facts of Life LIVE Cohort - You will often find me hanging out in the course and community for my course “Facts of Life Book”. The first ever live cohort is underway with virtual sessions every Friday afternoon during that time period. (Can’t make the virtual sessions - no worries - they will be recorded). What is the Facts of Life Book? Do you need to organize your most important stuff for life’s most important moments? If so, then the Facts of Life Book course is just for you. With loads of templates, tools, and guides I’ll help you get your most important information organized. Join now and you’ll get access to all future updates as well as any additional future live cohorts I run. Use coupon code FRIEND1 to get 50% off of the cost of the course. This is the LOWEST price I’ll ever offer this live course for and it’s the last week to sign up!
Quarterly Retreat - Sign up for the Quarterly Retreat All Access Pass or the Quarterly Retreat Workshop. Visit https://karamonroe.podia.com and check out all of the offerings. The workbook is always free.
R.J. Nestor’s Action Powered Productivity Community - My friend R.J. has moved his community to a subscription model and you get access to all of the workshops for just $9 a month. This is an awesome community and I’m giving my first workshop on Mac and iOS automation the first week of May. Come and join us!
Creative Work Hour - Every single day of the week, at 10 a.m. eastern, a group gathers online in Zoom to do a quick check in, a brief meditation, work for about 50 minutes on whatever they want to do, and then check out with one another for 5 minutes. Creative Work Hour is one of my favorite places to hang out online and I’ve been there every single day that I could be there since about March of 2022. Come as often or as little as you need to get projects done. To register for the sessions (they are free but you have to sign up to get the zoom link) and to learn more, visit https://lu.ma/CreativeWork.
Tools, Tips, & Tricks
Set up USPS Informed Delivery for free
If you live in the U.S. you have the ability to get a copy of your mail in your digital inbox before it arrives in your physical inbox. I love this for when I’m traveling but it’s also just handy for every day to know if there is anything worth getting in the mail that day.
Signing up is free and you simply get an email with images of your scanned letter-sized mail each day.
Get cash back at the pump
I’ve been using Upside for well over a year now to get cash back at the pump at occasionally at restaurants and on groceries. With upside, you can also see where gas is cheapest which, especially right now, is handy. To get started using Upside, download the app (links below) and sign up for an account. If you’re so inclined, you can enter my referral code: KARA3995. Then, join me in getting cash back. I’ve earned about $50 in six months through nothing more than a check in when I get gas. I don’t drive much anymore though so I know folks who have earned much more since they fill up their tank far more often than I do.
Get started today by downloading the app and signing up. Don’t forget - referral code KARA3995: Apple or Android
Diversion
Gayle and I binged Netflix’s "The Diplomat” this weekend. As Gayle said, this show has pretty much everything we love. The whole first season is available now. Thankfully, it has been renewed for a second season although in the new world that is streaming television when that will be released is unclear but it’s likely not for a while. That said, I won’t mind watching the season again as a refresher closer to when Season 2 releases.
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