Our values may not come up in day to day conversations or activities - but we should know what it looks like when we act in alignment with our values. Today, I'm offering two simple frameworks to help you identify how you see your values in your life.
Our values are a part of who we are and what we do - but that doesn't mean they are automatic.
We need to occasionally check in with our values to ensure that we are seeing them enough in different areas of our lives. Today, I'm going to offer two simple ways you can assess how your values are showing up in your life.
For each you might want a place to capture some notes. I think these exercises are better done in writing. But, as always, do what works best for you.
For exercise 1, write down each value word or phrase and then write the traits that you have that show this value (or what traits would demonstrate this value) and then write what the behaviors that demonstrate this value look like.
Here is an example. I value creativity. A couple of traits that show this value are that I am interested in learning about other people and I enjoy following my own curiosity. Behaviors that demonstrate this are that I always try to ask others more questions than they ask me and to listen to hear rather than listen to respond and that I check out books from the library any time a topic even vaguely interests me - even if I might only skim the book.
A second exercise that I really like is the is/is not exercise. Write down each of your value words or phrases. Then, for each word or phrase, I write - I live this value when I... and I fail to live this value when I... You could change the phrasing of this to fit the specific word or phrase - but it's basically I do this when I and I don't do this when I.
For this exercise, let's use my value of compassion. I live this value when I call my dad daily, when I listen to understand, and when I text someone just to say I'm thinking about them. I fail to live this value when I gossip or when I am short tempered.
I usually find that second exercise just a little easier but I still like the idea of thinking about the traits that lead to behaviors occasionally to help stretch me out of my comfort zone.
And, with that, we're going to turn our attention for the next few days to ways to identify your values. I shared the ideal day exercise with you already. I have about four more exercises for finding your values that I'll share with you over the course of the next few days. I'd love to know if this series is helpful to you.
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6 - What do your values look like in daily life?